wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
