So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
where am i from again
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
