do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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