adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
