She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
