just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
