Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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