next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
