I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
