My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
