My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
