So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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