If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
