he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
