Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
