Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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