if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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