So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
