that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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