i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
