We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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