Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
