You just made me feel so damn special
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
