just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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