Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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