Do you still have your period?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
