I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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