i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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