just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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