Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
