Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
