Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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