he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
