I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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