i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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