Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
