someone get that fucking seahorse.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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