yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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