grandma shit on top of the toilet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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