If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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