just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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