Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
