I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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