Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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