Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
