He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
