everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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