Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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