Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
