it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
