She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
