my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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