dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
