If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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